In and Out

Posted: October 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

Earlier this morning I woke up in such relief and the first thing I did was drop to my knees to pray. I had a horrific dream that went like this…I woke up and went to see my mother, who shared doomsday information with me. “A meteorite is coming and the leaders of the U.S. aren’t planning on NASA’s help to stop it.” A million things shot through my head at that point. One being we can do something to stop it, yet the government doesn’t want to do anything?! >8^( …..TYPICAL! “We’re going to go to the place God created for us”, she said trying to comfort me. I sat next to my mother on the sofa and clutched on to her. Remembering all of the things I did in the past that I never corrected  caused me to turn into a broken record. “I’m not ready”, I kept repeating to her. I kept thinking there was no way I was going to meet up with her in Heaven and that scared the crap out of me. She was so certain of where she was going but I was so unsure. “It’s a mile away now”. I kept my arms around my mother, tempted to look out the window, but not really wanting to see it. I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet so I was incredibly hungry and I needed to use the bathroom, but refused to do any of those things. One: I wanted to die with my mother, not alone in another room in the house. AND Two: What was the point of putting Ego’s in the toaster if I was going to die? So I stayed, holding onto her and thinking of how getting hit by a meteorite was going to feel. I then thought of everyone in the area that was also going to die. I also thought of the selfish people who lived far away from us who would be learning about our destruction on their local news channel the next day. In the end, I wounded up praying as fast as I could. I begged God to forgive me and let me into Heaven when I die———————-What made that dream even more scary was, I drifted in and out of consciousness. In the middle of the dream I thought, maybe this is a dream. Then I felt myself slowly waking up. However, right when I felt myself coming to, I felt myself rapidly sucked back into to it and the dream continued. I then thought, in the dream, I’m not dreaming then because I didn’t wake up! I can’t stand dreams like that, but at the same time, I am so thankful for them. Though they are absolutely terrifying, they are also refreshing, because they remind me of what’s really important in life. Someday in the future, God willing it not be today, I will die. I want to be ready when that day comes. I want to be certain of where I’m going. I don’t want to waist time and have regrets in the end. I want to get my life straightened. I want to get my priorities straightened. I can be here today and gone tomorrow, like a blade of grass withers away. I am a speck in this world with an expiration date. No more waisting time!

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